Of all the people on my holiday shopping list, there was one little boy for whom buying a gift had become increasingly difficult. He ’s a wonderful child, adorable and loving, and he ’s not f irritable or spoiled. Though he lives across the country from me, I receive regular updates and photos, and he likes all the things that the boys his age want to play with. Shopping for him should be easy, but I find it hard to summon up any enthusiasm, because in all the years I ’ve giv presents, he never once sent me a thank-you note.
“Sending thank-you notes is becoming a lost art, ” mourns Mary Mitchell, a syndicated columnist known as “Ms. Demeanor”and author of six etiquette books. In her view, each generation, compared with the one before, is losing a sense of consideration for other people. “Without respect, ” she says, “you have conflict. ”
Ms. Demeanor would be proud of me: I have figured out a way to ensure that my children always send thank-you notes. And such a gesture is important, says Ms. Demeanor, because “a grateful attitude is a tremendous life skill, an efficient and inexpensive way to set ourselves apart in the work force and in our adult lives. Teach your children that the habit of manners comes from inside ― it ’s an attitude based on respecting other people. ”